[ which is another infuriating aspect of the predicament they had found themselves in; there's no rhyme or reason, no pattern, no clues. roy is used to operating underneath someone who holds more cards than he does, but roy holds none of them, and there doesn't seem to be a way to do that. and roy loathes feel powerless. ]
I know that the dead can't come back to life, and I know that attempting to do it pays a heavy toll. [ roy could be half in his grave, old and tired, and never forget what he found in the elrics' home on the day he found edward and alphonse in resembool. ] So what toll does something like that pay? What laws or expectations are forced upon them? And, more importantly, what happened to Maes?
[ was it a trick, or was it real. he's not sure, but he does know that: ]
It's bullshit, and she deserves to rot in hell for doing that to him. And to us.
[ with no small amount of frustration. ]
But I don't like feeling angry, and being angry won't change anything about what happened, or change the fact that Maes is dead.
[ if she's being honest, they've gone from operating under the assumption that the other side always held more cards, to wondering if cards are even involved at all. she has no concept of what astoria wants, what qri wanted, but for as much as she doesn't like feeling hung out to dry, she knows roy hates it more.
but he's making a good point - she'd been there with them when they'd gone to get the boys, and while she hadn't seen the same things he had, she had seen what it had done to him. ]
With how far we are from home, would there even be laws forced on them? Or would all of that shift around too? [ a beat, where she's just looking at him, waiting to see if he had any answers, if there were any answers to be had.
considering how riza doesn't have an answer for that one question, the one on both of their minds - what happened to maes keeps her silent for just a few moments longer. through the comment about hell, through roy's frustration, until she simply nods.
they continue walking in silence for another few moments before she speaks again. ]
[ there's a shrug, at her first question -- the rule of law, and of alchemy, is something that's been a comfort to him, even if he's constantly pushing the boundaries on the first. certain things must be true. hydrogen and oxygen compromise water; fire requires fuel and oxygen to burn; manipulating the airflow can cause certain things to explode. science is comforting, and here, science means nothing.
but at her second question, about maes, he pauses in his walk, to stop completely, because it's something he's been focused on. weighed heavily, repeated in his mind since shehui. ]
It's prolonging the inevitable. It would be cruel. He would be trapped here knowing he was going to be sent back to his death, once that woman is done with him.
[ finally. but, almost a little reluctantly: ]
But he deserves a chance to live, even if it's only for another few days. He deserves to know what happened. But I don't know if that's something he actually would want, or if that's something I need to hear.
[ roy stops, and riza finds herself taking two more steps before she comes to a stop herself, turning around to face him even if his eyes are elsewhere. in the back of her mind, she thinks about shehui, about how he looked standing across from her, standing in front of the tent, how do you grieve for someone who isn't dead.
so much of her chest is wrapped around that moment, the shaky way roy had looked at her. she wants to fix this, but she knows she can't. that it isn't something she can swoop in and take off his plate. he's not in that same place, now, but she worries. she always finds herself worrying.
but for now, she exhales softly, her eyes wandering just for a moment to see where black hayate has run off to a bit of grass, sniffing at what is probably more of those small white bats, before she turns back to him. ]
You need to be honest with him, General. You're correct, he does deserve to know. He would want to know.
He's not stupid, and I'm a horrible liar to the people who can tell when I'm lying.
[ it's not dismissive, but firm, and an acceptance of the unspoken warning (if you won't tell him, i will). lying to maes about his death is a different matter than lying to the elrics; maes will know, and maes will immediately call him on it, and then likely be furious with him. there's no getting out of that. ]
I already know what he's going to say. That it's not my fault, that I need to keep moving forward, that I made a promise to change the future so the past wouldn't repeat itself. I'm not so sure I want to hear it.
[ and roy pauses before huffing to himself, irritated. ]
-- what he would say, if he was here, and if the stars align and he arrived.
[ betraying his secret hope, that it happens. childish. ]
[ she appreciates the truth to his words, knowing that she'd step in, knowing that she wouldn't let him try and take the easy way out. she knows how difficult it will be, knows how much that puts on him in the process.
the catch is something she misses, when he first starts talking. the going instead of would. she finds herself wanting it for him, and with his catching of his own wording, feels herself get almost disappointed. ]
Yes, if he does arrive, I imagine he'd say just that.
[ riza feels...almost awkward, in the following moments. unsure of what to tell him, of what to say to fill the space. black hayate comes bounding back out of the grass, directly up to roy with an easy excitement, and riza is momentarily glad for the distraction. ]
[ indeed, the distraction is welcome, and he offers half a laugh. ]
Ah, leave him be.
[ as he pets black hayate, dutifully, but the dog (loyal to riza but excited for attention) abruptly sits at attention . . . but still allows roy to give him all the pets he demands. ]
He's a dog, let him be a dog.
[ this is why roy wasn't allowed to keep the dog. ]
[ but her admonishment is more fond than anything, knowing that in the face of roy's attention, black hayate would only listen to her if absolutely necessary.
it's why she exhales, shaking her head slightly. ]
Either way, I'm- [ she catches herself before the words slip out - i'm glad you're alright - and quickly checks herself. ] I'm glad at least this place seems peaceful enough. A short reprieve before we're thrown into another world.
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( offline )
[ which is another infuriating aspect of the predicament they had found themselves in; there's no rhyme or reason, no pattern, no clues. roy is used to operating underneath someone who holds more cards than he does, but roy holds none of them, and there doesn't seem to be a way to do that. and roy loathes feel powerless. ]
I know that the dead can't come back to life, and I know that attempting to do it pays a heavy toll. [ roy could be half in his grave, old and tired, and never forget what he found in the elrics' home on the day he found edward and alphonse in resembool. ] So what toll does something like that pay? What laws or expectations are forced upon them? And, more importantly, what happened to Maes?
[ was it a trick, or was it real. he's not sure, but he does know that: ]
It's bullshit, and she deserves to rot in hell for doing that to him. And to us.
[ with no small amount of frustration. ]
But I don't like feeling angry, and being angry won't change anything about what happened, or change the fact that Maes is dead.
( offline ) tags back a million years later???
but he's making a good point - she'd been there with them when they'd gone to get the boys, and while she hadn't seen the same things he had, she had seen what it had done to him. ]
With how far we are from home, would there even be laws forced on them? Or would all of that shift around too? [ a beat, where she's just looking at him, waiting to see if he had any answers, if there were any answers to be had.
considering how riza doesn't have an answer for that one question, the one on both of their minds - what happened to maes keeps her silent for just a few moments longer. through the comment about hell, through roy's frustration, until she simply nods.
they continue walking in silence for another few moments before she speaks again. ]
And if Astoria brings him here?
( offline )
but at her second question, about maes, he pauses in his walk, to stop completely, because it's something he's been focused on. weighed heavily, repeated in his mind since shehui. ]
It's prolonging the inevitable. It would be cruel. He would be trapped here knowing he was going to be sent back to his death, once that woman is done with him.
[ finally. but, almost a little reluctantly: ]
But he deserves a chance to live, even if it's only for another few days. He deserves to know what happened. But I don't know if that's something he actually would want, or if that's something I need to hear.
( offline )
so much of her chest is wrapped around that moment, the shaky way roy had looked at her. she wants to fix this, but she knows she can't. that it isn't something she can swoop in and take off his plate. he's not in that same place, now, but she worries. she always finds herself worrying.
but for now, she exhales softly, her eyes wandering just for a moment to see where black hayate has run off to a bit of grass, sniffing at what is probably more of those small white bats, before she turns back to him. ]
You need to be honest with him, General. You're correct, he does deserve to know. He would want to know.
( offline )
[ it's not dismissive, but firm, and an acceptance of the unspoken warning (if you won't tell him, i will). lying to maes about his death is a different matter than lying to the elrics; maes will know, and maes will immediately call him on it, and then likely be furious with him. there's no getting out of that. ]
I already know what he's going to say. That it's not my fault, that I need to keep moving forward, that I made a promise to change the future so the past wouldn't repeat itself. I'm not so sure I want to hear it.
[ and roy pauses before huffing to himself, irritated. ]
-- what he would say, if he was here, and if the stars align and he arrived.
[ betraying his secret hope, that it happens. childish. ]
( offline )
the catch is something she misses, when he first starts talking. the going instead of would. she finds herself wanting it for him, and with his catching of his own wording, feels herself get almost disappointed. ]
Yes, if he does arrive, I imagine he'd say just that.
[ riza feels...almost awkward, in the following moments. unsure of what to tell him, of what to say to fill the space. black hayate comes bounding back out of the grass, directly up to roy with an easy excitement, and riza is momentarily glad for the distraction. ]
Down.
( offline )
Ah, leave him be.
[ as he pets black hayate, dutifully, but the dog (loyal to riza but excited for attention) abruptly sits at attention . . . but still allows roy to give him all the pets he demands. ]
He's a dog, let him be a dog.
[ this is why roy wasn't allowed to keep the dog. ]
( offline )
[ but her admonishment is more fond than anything, knowing that in the face of roy's attention, black hayate would only listen to her if absolutely necessary.
it's why she exhales, shaking her head slightly. ]
Either way, I'm- [ she catches herself before the words slip out - i'm glad you're alright - and quickly checks herself. ] I'm glad at least this place seems peaceful enough. A short reprieve before we're thrown into another world.