Are you saying you went home, then? Some time while you were sleeping?
[ it sounds crazy, but not crazy enough not to be impossible. shiro certainly looks very different from the man she'd had seen not a few days before, and she can't exactly find another explanation for it either. the exhaustion, the time clearly pressing on his shoulders. ]
Shiro. [ because she may not be roy mustang, but she can tell when someone close to her isn't saying the whole truth. battles or no, there's more going on he's not quite saying. ] What happened? At home- not here. [ and then she sighs, stepping half a foot closer to him, looking up to catch his eyes. ] You have a different arm, your hair is completely white. Was it just those battles that did all that to you?
[His grey eyes snap to hers when she says his name. He knew he couldn't hide anything from her. They've been through enough she can tell when he isn't saying everything. That and his subtle hint gave him away.
He sighs, reaching out to lightly touch her shoulder.]
Yes, and no. Back home...things happened to make it a complicated situation. [They've dealt with magic here. He shapeshifts and suddenly being the Lion feels like too glaringly a hint to his future, now, past. He looks away and sighs again, putting his other hand on her other shoulder. He looks worn out. Given what he has to say, it will make sense why.]
I'm not sure how to explain this..there's no gentle way to put it. I'm sorry. I guess the simplest way is I died and the Lion took issue with that. I'm in my own clone's body after he tried to kill my team and Keith bested him. ...Keith did it to try to save me, believing he was me and now...
That clone and I are sort of one person now I have all his memories and knowledge alongside my own. ...if it makes no sense to you. That's okay. It's a lot for all of us too.
[ she doesn't break eye contact with him as he sighs and reaches out to touch her shoulder, only tilting her head a bit in question as he does. she knew there had been something more, so she's not surprised when he continues to explain. instead, riza just listens, her expression remaining neutral as he continues.
'complicated situation' is what clues her in first. his apology, second. her brow knits for the following moment as she tries to understand what it is he's explaining and how it all worked out, before she finds herself caught up on that one word. ]
You died. [ because...that's something a little more complicated, for her. dying, come back. he says things about clones, about the lion taking issue with his death, and she isn't quite able to wrap her head around it. but at the same time, she realizes she doesn't really need to, one hand lifting to set on shiro's wrist, squeezing his arm gently. ]
It doesn't make any sense to me, no. But if you say you're alright, I'll believe you. That is...more than one person should be asked to deal with over the course of a dream, but. [ there's a small hint of a smile, there, like she's trying to make a joke of it. ] You tend to be pretty adept at handling more than you should.
[He returns her tiny smile with one of his own. Telling her was the right thing. Riza had understood just what he wanted to be understood. No need to make a big deal out of it. For all the pain there was a lot of good that came about too.] It's life. It's pretty adventurous and a little bit much at times...but I'm alive. That's good enough for me.
I get to spend it with pretty incredible people. [His smile grows wider, reaching his eyes and softening his expression. He looks away again but this time to be sure no one will intrude as he adds, his tone a touch amused.]
Just don't start too hard next time you see Keith. [He trails a finger down the side of his face from below the eye down.] Older too. He's been through just as much as I have...in different ways. It's because of him and Allura I'm alive again.
[ at the returned smile, riza does relax a bit. it's one thing to be told that he's okay, that he can manage, and to see the look in his eyes. she finds herself nodding at his description - pretty adventurous sounds about what she expects - and she huffs a small laugh. ]
Yes, let's keep that 'alive' but going for a bit longer. [ but the smile fades a bit when shiro continues, watching him trace the line on his face. ] Is he doing okay? Or just...older? [ a beat, and then riza thinks for a moment. ] I don't think I've met Allura. You've told me about her, but is she here? With the rest of the people who showed up from home?
Allura is here. We have four of my team and a...potential ally. [He frowns as he draws back a step. Lotor. He will work with him and carefully try to teach him better ways. If he can. Shiro focuses on what is more important for now.]
Keith is alright. Older, yes. And don’t worry, I’m very attached to this idea we call living and breathing.
[He relaxes. Four of six Paladins have found their way to this Circle. And now a lot of his questions have finally been answered. Shiro runs a hand through his hair.] Keith is fine. And...I really am too. A lot of questions have been answered.
[ they draw apart a step, but riza is still watching him, trying to parse out the information he's sharing. even if he does get her to smile a bit at that comment. living and breathing. ]
[That makes him pause. He had had so many questions as far back as looking at Ulaz in the Castle Ship. Some were answered and when he found his way here...more drew up at the distance between him and Keith. More and more built as Lotor, Allura, and Lance appeared. He'd seen the looks.
Shiro tips his head slightly and nods once.] Enough of them. The important ones.
[That had to be enough for now.]
It's...complicated. I think we can turn him from his path. Or at least...temper it. But I'll think more on that later. Let's take a bit of a walk. This city feels a little different.
[Everything feels different since he's been dead and come back.]
I've gotten fairly comfortable with only knowing the answers to the important questions. But I'm glad you're safe, and back.
[ which is the truth, for riza. she doesn't think she'll ever really understand where shiro has come from, or what he's been through, but she can be supportive with the knowledge she can wrap her head around.
when he suggests a walk, riza takes a half step back, motioning behind her and off into the city. ] I've got plenty of time for a walk. I'd update you on what you missed, but... [ that was supposed to be something of a joke, but as it usually is with riza and humor, she's not sure it lands. ]
And you think he can be turned? From his path, I mean. You think he can make the right choice?
I think so. Life in the Circle exposes us to so many walks of life and ways to be. Whether he does or doesn't, [He shrugs as he turns and walks into the city, his hands at his sides. He'd thought to put them in his pockets but...nah.]
That's up to him.
[The wind blows through and he tips his head up to feel it. He'll go flying later. Even battered he should keep up his routine.]
...I admit I'm...not used to having the important answers. Usually it's just a lot of questions and only some of the answers. This is pretty freeing.
[He rubs the back of his neck as he looks back at her, his expression a little sheepish.]
It feels like I'm a new man. Which is funny coming from a man whose soul was shoved into his own evil clone.
[ she follows him easily, walking almost perfectly in step. ]
If this is over-reaching, just tell me, but how... [ she frowns a bit, thinking about how she wants to phrase this. ] How far are you going to need to redirect? His path, I mean.
[ how do you subtly ask how evil someone is without asking if they're evil.
but sorry, shiro. that is going to have riza stumbling for a second over her feet, still just...getting used to that whole. you know. everything. ] Sorry, that's- [ she shakes her head. ] That's a lot to take in.
[He reaches out to steady her with one hand. He winces,] Sorry, I was trying to lighten the mood a bit.
[One would think he'd know better. It's the third bad joke he's made and it's fallen as flat as the first two. He gently keeps a hand on her arm until she's walking normally. He immediately lets go.] It is a lot to take in.
...I'm still not quite right. It will take some time before I feel...entirely myself. As for how much I need to redirect.
It will take some doing. All he says and does seems honest but...I need to determine how much.
[ she gives him an apologetic look as he reaches out to steady her, laughing softly. ] No, no, it's fine. That's my fault. [ riza understands using humor to outweigh pain, and complications, and every other complicated emotion she can only begin to assume shiro is thinking.
it falls just about as flat as havoc's jokes, after all. ]
If you need help.... [ she trails off, watching him for a bit as he pulls his hand away. ] I know I'm not from your home. I don't know what you were like there, if at all. But I know what it's like to try and put yourself back together.
[ maybe not to an exact extent as shiro, but it's a start. ]
I do. ...With a lot of time. [Read: He's evil, Riza. But possibly guidable.]
A lot of time and patience. I have to try. I can see where this could go and why things went so far was an outside force.
[He trails off and shakes his head. He turns a soft smile on her that's tired but very real. Riza has been his friend for a while. One he trusts and would do almost anything for.] ...But, thank you. Right now it's all a mess. I don't know what sort of help will be needed.
It's like...I remember being dead and living...that's, [His brows furrow and he brings up a hand to rub his temples.] making it hard to think the way I need to be thinking.
I can't afford to be down when we have a job to do here.
[ shiro........she's worried about that suggestion!!! and him!!!! trying to do this!!!! but she also trusts his judgement, and nods - understanding. ]
Either way- I'm happy to help you if you need it. You're doing a good thing, trying to help. Better than most. [ she gives him a small smile right back. she can see how tired he is, and how he's holding out through it. ]
It also doesn't have to be with...guiding others. It can just be for you.
[ just in case he needed a reminder about that. but still, riza's face falls into something a bit more concerned as he continues. ]
You're also allowed to process what happened to you. [ which, honestly, riza says as honestly and bluntly as she can. ] You died, Shiro. You're allowed to take some time to let that sink in and to heal. Right now, especially. [ she waves her hand around to motion to the city. ] As far as jobs go, this is as close to down time as we're probably going to get, and you need to allow yourself to take it.
[He listens to Riza lay it all out there. Their friendship has been based on honesty and being real with one another when they tried to shove things under the rug and move on. He feels mildly guilty for causing her any concern. She's been through enough.
She has more than a valid point. His instincts are to just keep charging ahead in human form or as the Lion. Shiro lightly lays a hand on her shoulder as his smile falls into sheepish grinning like a kid caught doing something they shouldn't.]
Working is...how I keep going. I am processing all that happened. But if I don't have anything to do, [He waves a hand out to the side. Without anything to do, he spins his wheels uselessly and there's way too much in his head waiting for the right moment to slam into him.]
It's alright. You never have to apologize for speaking your mind to me. You are right, taking time to heal is important. ...I'll try to take more downtime than working time and see if that makes it easier for myself.
[And for anyone worrying about him. He knows how the team feels about it. Hell maybe a few naps during the day would make them all breathe easier.]
[ shiro lays a hand on her shoulder, and riza smiles back at him, reaching up at set her hand on his wrist. ]
I know. [ and then she squeezes his wrist gently, before letting go of it. ] I'm just asking you to be careful with regards to over working, because I know how easy that can be for people like you. [ people like shiro, people like roy. there's a balance to be had, but all she can do is remind them to keep rest in mind.
and then shiro says you never have to apologize and riza's smile grows a little more - playful, almost. ]
I wasn't apologizing for speaking my mind. I was apologizing because it sounded like I was reprimanding you. But I'm glad you'll listen all the same.
I didn't take it as a reprimand. You're worried and for good reason. [His smile shifts growing a little lighter and brightens up his grey eyes. It had sounded like reasonable advice to him. Reprimand or no, it isn't wrong.]
And I'll be careful. ...I know just how easy it would be to push it too far. [He won't let himself slip like that. The team needs his support and he wants to be there for them.]
...and I have a few people to remind they should pace themselves. [His smile turns wry and a little playful too.] If I overdo it what kind of example I am setting?
Anyway, I'm sticking to the ground and on foot or vehicle for at least a week. Shapeshifting requires a lot of energy.
[ which is more of a joke than anything. she's not worried about if her concerns are really nagging. usually they have to be to get roy to do much of anything. when his smile gets more playful, she gives a small snort. ]
If they catch you pushing too hard, they'll never listen to you again. A leader might need to think about that.
[ and then she shrugs, whatever tension that might have still been between them falling away. ]
Probably for the better. At least until your energy is back up again. [ she pauses, then looks back to him, her look a little mor egentle. concerned. ] How is Keith handling it?
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[ it sounds crazy, but not crazy enough not to be impossible. shiro certainly looks very different from the man she'd had seen not a few days before, and she can't exactly find another explanation for it either. the exhaustion, the time clearly pressing on his shoulders. ]
Shiro. [ because she may not be roy mustang, but she can tell when someone close to her isn't saying the whole truth. battles or no, there's more going on he's not quite saying. ] What happened? At home- not here. [ and then she sighs, stepping half a foot closer to him, looking up to catch his eyes. ] You have a different arm, your hair is completely white. Was it just those battles that did all that to you?
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He sighs, reaching out to lightly touch her shoulder.]
Yes, and no. Back home...things happened to make it a complicated situation. [They've dealt with magic here. He shapeshifts and suddenly being the Lion feels like too glaringly a hint to his future, now, past. He looks away and sighs again, putting his other hand on her other shoulder. He looks worn out. Given what he has to say, it will make sense why.]
I'm not sure how to explain this..there's no gentle way to put it. I'm sorry. I guess the simplest way is I died and the Lion took issue with that. I'm in my own clone's body after he tried to kill my team and Keith bested him. ...Keith did it to try to save me, believing he was me and now...
That clone and I are sort of one person now I have all his memories and knowledge alongside my own. ...if it makes no sense to you. That's okay. It's a lot for all of us too.
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'complicated situation' is what clues her in first. his apology, second. her brow knits for the following moment as she tries to understand what it is he's explaining and how it all worked out, before she finds herself caught up on that one word. ]
You died. [ because...that's something a little more complicated, for her. dying, come back. he says things about clones, about the lion taking issue with his death, and she isn't quite able to wrap her head around it. but at the same time, she realizes she doesn't really need to, one hand lifting to set on shiro's wrist, squeezing his arm gently. ]
It doesn't make any sense to me, no. But if you say you're alright, I'll believe you. That is...more than one person should be asked to deal with over the course of a dream, but. [ there's a small hint of a smile, there, like she's trying to make a joke of it. ] You tend to be pretty adept at handling more than you should.
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I get to spend it with pretty incredible people. [His smile grows wider, reaching his eyes and softening his expression. He looks away again but this time to be sure no one will intrude as he adds, his tone a touch amused.]
Just don't start too hard next time you see Keith. [He trails a finger down the side of his face from below the eye down.] Older too. He's been through just as much as I have...in different ways. It's because of him and Allura I'm alive again.
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Yes, let's keep that 'alive' but going for a bit longer. [ but the smile fades a bit when shiro continues, watching him trace the line on his face. ] Is he doing okay? Or just...older? [ a beat, and then riza thinks for a moment. ] I don't think I've met Allura. You've told me about her, but is she here? With the rest of the people who showed up from home?
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Keith is alright. Older, yes. And don’t worry, I’m very attached to this idea we call living and breathing.
[He relaxes. Four of six Paladins have found their way to this Circle. And now a lot of his questions have finally been answered. Shiro runs a hand through his hair.] Keith is fine. And...I really am too. A lot of questions have been answered.
[And he is finally free.]
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[ they draw apart a step, but riza is still watching him, trying to parse out the information he's sharing. even if he does get her to smile a bit at that comment. living and breathing. ]
Are they all answered? Or just enough of them?
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Shiro tips his head slightly and nods once.] Enough of them. The important ones.
[That had to be enough for now.]
It's...complicated. I think we can turn him from his path. Or at least...temper it. But I'll think more on that later. Let's take a bit of a walk. This city feels a little different.
[Everything feels different since he's been dead and come back.]
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I've gotten fairly comfortable with only knowing the answers to the important questions. But I'm glad you're safe, and back.
[ which is the truth, for riza. she doesn't think she'll ever really understand where shiro has come from, or what he's been through, but she can be supportive with the knowledge she can wrap her head around.
when he suggests a walk, riza takes a half step back, motioning behind her and off into the city. ] I've got plenty of time for a walk. I'd update you on what you missed, but... [ that was supposed to be something of a joke, but as it usually is with riza and humor, she's not sure it lands. ]
And you think he can be turned? From his path, I mean. You think he can make the right choice?
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That's up to him.
[The wind blows through and he tips his head up to feel it. He'll go flying later. Even battered he should keep up his routine.]
...I admit I'm...not used to having the important answers. Usually it's just a lot of questions and only some of the answers. This is pretty freeing.
[He rubs the back of his neck as he looks back at her, his expression a little sheepish.]
It feels like I'm a new man. Which is funny coming from a man whose soul was shoved into his own evil clone.
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If this is over-reaching, just tell me, but how... [ she frowns a bit, thinking about how she wants to phrase this. ] How far are you going to need to redirect? His path, I mean.
[ how do you subtly ask how evil someone is without asking if they're evil.
but sorry, shiro. that is going to have riza stumbling for a second over her feet, still just...getting used to that whole. you know. everything. ] Sorry, that's- [ she shakes her head. ] That's a lot to take in.
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[One would think he'd know better. It's the third bad joke he's made and it's fallen as flat as the first two. He gently keeps a hand on her arm until she's walking normally. He immediately lets go.] It is a lot to take in.
...I'm still not quite right. It will take some time before I feel...entirely myself. As for how much I need to redirect.
It will take some doing. All he says and does seems honest but...I need to determine how much.
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it falls just about as flat as havoc's jokes, after all. ]
If you need help.... [ she trails off, watching him for a bit as he pulls his hand away. ] I know I'm not from your home. I don't know what you were like there, if at all. But I know what it's like to try and put yourself back together.
[ maybe not to an exact extent as shiro, but it's a start. ]
But you think it's possible?
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A lot of time and patience. I have to try. I can see where this could go and why things went so far was an outside force.
[He trails off and shakes his head. He turns a soft smile on her that's tired but very real. Riza has been his friend for a while. One he trusts and would do almost anything for.] ...But, thank you. Right now it's all a mess. I don't know what sort of help will be needed.
It's like...I remember being dead and living...that's, [His brows furrow and he brings up a hand to rub his temples.] making it hard to think the way I need to be thinking.
I can't afford to be down when we have a job to do here.
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Either way- I'm happy to help you if you need it. You're doing a good thing, trying to help. Better than most. [ she gives him a small smile right back. she can see how tired he is, and how he's holding out through it. ]
It also doesn't have to be with...guiding others. It can just be for you.
[ just in case he needed a reminder about that. but still, riza's face falls into something a bit more concerned as he continues. ]
You're also allowed to process what happened to you. [ which, honestly, riza says as honestly and bluntly as she can. ] You died, Shiro. You're allowed to take some time to let that sink in and to heal. Right now, especially. [ she waves her hand around to motion to the city. ] As far as jobs go, this is as close to down time as we're probably going to get, and you need to allow yourself to take it.
[ a pause, and then she exhales. ]
Sorry.
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She has more than a valid point. His instincts are to just keep charging ahead in human form or as the Lion. Shiro lightly lays a hand on her shoulder as his smile falls into sheepish grinning like a kid caught doing something they shouldn't.]
Working is...how I keep going. I am processing all that happened. But if I don't have anything to do, [He waves a hand out to the side. Without anything to do, he spins his wheels uselessly and there's way too much in his head waiting for the right moment to slam into him.]
It's alright. You never have to apologize for speaking your mind to me. You are right, taking time to heal is important. ...I'll try to take more downtime than working time and see if that makes it easier for myself.
[And for anyone worrying about him. He knows how the team feels about it. Hell maybe a few naps during the day would make them all breathe easier.]
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I know. [ and then she squeezes his wrist gently, before letting go of it. ] I'm just asking you to be careful with regards to over working, because I know how easy that can be for people like you. [ people like shiro, people like roy. there's a balance to be had, but all she can do is remind them to keep rest in mind.
and then shiro says you never have to apologize and riza's smile grows a little more - playful, almost. ]
I wasn't apologizing for speaking my mind. I was apologizing because it sounded like I was reprimanding you. But I'm glad you'll listen all the same.
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And I'll be careful. ...I know just how easy it would be to push it too far. [He won't let himself slip like that. The team needs his support and he wants to be there for them.]
...and I have a few people to remind they should pace themselves. [His smile turns wry and a little playful too.] If I overdo it what kind of example I am setting?
Anyway, I'm sticking to the ground and on foot or vehicle for at least a week. Shapeshifting requires a lot of energy.
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[ which is more of a joke than anything. she's not worried about if her concerns are really nagging. usually they have to be to get roy to do much of anything. when his smile gets more playful, she gives a small snort. ]
If they catch you pushing too hard, they'll never listen to you again. A leader might need to think about that.
[ and then she shrugs, whatever tension that might have still been between them falling away. ]
Probably for the better. At least until your energy is back up again. [ she pauses, then looks back to him, her look a little mor egentle. concerned. ] How is Keith handling it?